On young women and individualism

In our church there is a program called Young Women's.  There are eight main 'values' in the program: faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, and virtue.  Taken together, these values can be an amazing base for a young girl's life and testimony.  But I've noticed that two of these are sometimes left undiscussed and unquestioned in Young Women's.  I'm talking about divine nature and individual worth.

In a church where family is a main focus, if not the main focus, I've noticed that women are sometimes relegated to being the wife or mother - that is their role.  It is an important one, surely, and I am not arguing that it is not the correct role - just that it is not the whole picture.  Sometimes, once we're out of primary, we forget that women are not just a part in the greater family.  Yes, they are absolutely needed as wives and mothers, and that forms an integral part of who they become.  But still, that's not all they are.  They have their own worth, their own divinity that stems not just from what they do but from what they are.  Even if I never get married or have children, I am still a divine daughter of a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother.  Yes, I just said that.  In a church where we acknowledge that a man needs a woman to get to the highest level of the celestial kingdom, and then become a God, how is it possible to deny that our Father in Heaven had the same conditions placed upon him, that in order to have even one Son, let alone all of us children, that there must be a Mother?

And if we are to be equally yoked in this eternal marriage, as scriptures and modern revelations tell us that we must be, can we deny that a divine woman must be as strong individually as her partner, the divine man?  Must she not also know who she is, and obey the same commandments, and have the same unyielding faith to return to our Heavenly parents?  How is she to do this if she is marginalized as being just a woman, just a moving gear in the machine that is the family?

I live in a generation of questioning.  I do not believe that this is a bad thing.  I think that only by questioning, and truly seeking for answers, can we ever really learn.  But the generations before mine may not understand this new way of thinking quite as well.  When a young woman of this age asks about her purpose, and is told that it is to be a mother and wife, will she not then ask, only a mother? only a wife?  Not an individual?  Are women truly valued for nothing more than their wombs and their left ring fingers, as carriers of children and their male counterparts into the kingdom of heaven?  No true and loving God, as I know that our Father is, would dehumanize his daughters that way.  We are worthy of love, respect, and individuality.  We have not only a collective divine potential but an individual divine nature now.  That is what the Young Women's program and manual teaches.  The problem is that when the teachers themselves haven't considered this, and how it applies to their young charges, they may gloss over the individualist outlook, which is an important aspect of the gospel, especially when looked at from a modern viewpoint.  No girl wants to be perfect but not herself.

The doctrine of the world is slippery.  In "modern" societies, girls are taught that women are the same as men.  There is room made for individual differences, but not for gender characteristics.  It is politically incorrect to say that women are more emotional than men, or that mothers have a nurturing spirit, or that men have a desire to provide for and protect their families.  Unthinking members of our church sometimes teach the opposite doctrine, that gender attributes are more important than personalities.  Girls are sometimes led to believe in a vision of a perfect and cloned life for themselves, wherein they take care of their husband and children, hanging the laundry and singing their children to sleep.  But both of these viewpoints are wrong.  Saying that either individual personalities or gender characteristics don't matter is false and damaging.  The truth is that both are important and make us who we are.  As guides of young daughters of God, it is imperative for us to realize this, and to help these girls, future women, to understand the truth of their individual worth and their divine nature as daughters of Heavenly parents.

And if they don't?  Even if a girl clings to the rod, not questioning, for once, why she is doing so when she has an eternal future ahead as some kind of menial childbearer, how can she have the strength to be an equal partner in marriage if she doesn't understand who she is and what she is worth?  I exhort you to teach your young women that they have worth, beyond what the world can bestow on them or what wifehood and motherhood will bring to them in the future.  I plead with you to let them know that who they are and what they make of themselves really does matter.  They matter.  Please don't let them forget that.  This world and the kingdom of Heaven require both worthy men and worthy women.  Don't allow any of them to count themselves out, to cut themselves down.  They are all children of Heavenly parents who love them.  We are all children of Heavenly parents who love us.  We have infinite potential, and infinite worth.  And we are only what we believe we can be.  So please, believe in yourself and in the precious young souls who do not yet understand what they can be.  Because what they are, and what we are, is amazing.